Watch Alex Jones Do An Impression Of Cobra Commander

This is one of the best crazy Alex Jones rants of all time, in which he makes an extended G.I. Joe analogy --  complete with a pretty dead-on Cobra Commander impression:

You work for Cobra!
You dress like Cobra!
You have the tactics of Cobra!
You are Cobra --
HAIL COBRAAAAA!!!

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Cobra IS The U.S. Military In This "G.I. Joe" Movie Viral Video



Before I begin this post, I'm wondering how many people remember the pro-wrestling gimmick from the mid-1990s called "New World Order," in which a quasi-Illuminati type sort of evil organization "infiltrates" the WCW and WWE. America's Hero Hulk Hogan becomes a bad guy and joins the team, who all wear black, white and red and want to essentially "take over" the wrestling federations.

Wrestling's "n.W.o"

Now, the "n.W.o." were theoretically "heels" -- bad guys. And yet they had an "edgy" allure about them that paradoxically made them the coolest wrestlers on the block. Suddenly, a lot of fans -- many of them young people -- who were cheering "Real American" Hulk Hogan were now donning the "colors" of the New World Order.

Keep that in mind as you watch this viral video for the upcoming movie "G.I. Joe: Retaliation" (you can read an analysis of the symbolism behind the first "G.I. Joe" film here). It is a "Cobra Recruitment" video, parodying the style of the U.S. Army ads. The viral marketing campaign positions Cobra as "cool" -- though one would assume that is basically done tongue-in-cheek (as in the "n.W.o" gimmick):



OK, so this video is indicating that Cobra (those "bad guys" of the black, white and red color scheme) are now in charge of our government and military. According to the Wikipedia description of the movie, shape-changing villain Zartan is impersonating the President of the United States (shades of the Reptillians/Chitauri/Skrulls!) and helps Cobra take over the U.S. Now the G.I. Joe team -- unfairly branded as "criminals" -- are on the run, helping start what is literally termed "The Second American Revolution"(!).

So basically, this narrative is like Alex Jones's wet dream.

Which confuses me a bit, as I have always had the impression from outlets like Jones, Drudge Report, and Big Hollywood that Hollywood proper is an evil organization (not unlike the n.W.o) which is dead-set against America and patriotism.

So Cobra is the U.S. military? No wonder they want all our guns!

Then again, as in the case of the example from pro-wrestling -- while the "bad guys" are clearly "bad guys," they are also positioned as sort of cool (the promotional site invites people to "like" them on Facebook and "join the Cobra Elite"). There's even "special Cobra events" you can attend, featuring the likes of Kid Rock, NASCAR...and, of course, the WWE pro-wrestling federation.

Wait -- wouldn't this all appeal to the same demographic as the real-life "Second American Revolution" peeps?

Compare to the map on this page

As of this writing, the Cobra Special Forces Facebook page has over 22K "likes." The page itself also links to Military.com's own FB page.

Of course, this viral marketing campaign is still young. Maybe the persecuted Joes (part of the "Second American Revolution") will create their own Facebook page...or, at least, start a flamewar with Cobra's.

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The "G.I. Joe" Conspiracy Meta-Theory

Editor's Note: This was originally written in 2009.

Yes, even a big-budgeted movie adaptation of a popular toy line can contain timeless symbolism that gives the film more depth than perhaps it either deserves or what was intended. It is the fact of the oft-subconscious layers to these and other pop-cultural phenomena that allow me to actually consume them and find something of value other than textured black body armor.

Take, for example, the movie G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Much has been made in early discussions of the film regarding its perceived lack of American iconography. But when we take into account the movie's overt, covert, and subconscious resonances with contemporary conspiracy meta-theory, things start to make a lot more sense. As we will see, this is not so much a story about America as it is about...the entire world.



But our tale begins with Cobra proper. Cobra is a shadowy international cabal of various megalomaniacs who are conspiring to take over the world and bring it under one government – to wit, to bring about a New World Order. How will they accomplish this feat? Several methods:

• Sell arms to both sides of a conflict, seeding chaos.
• Blow up various landmarks around the world in order to cause mass fear and global insecurity – forcing the public to turn to one world leader who can offer order.
• Various forms of mind control.
• Infiltrate world government with puppet leaders.

James McCullen/Destro says:

"I appreciate your thirst for knowledge, Doctor, but this world is messy enough. No. What it needs is unification, leadership. It has to be taken out of chaos by someone with complete control. Beijing, Moscow, Washington... When these missiles detonate, the world will turn to the most powerful man on the planet. When I'm finished, the money will take care of itself. You'll be able to do all the research you want."

These are all main talking points of proponents of conspiracy meta-theory regarding a "New World Order".

As if to drive the point home, many "triggering" images that these theorists respond to as proof of the conspiracy are used throughout the film:

The main Cobra ship features an "all seeing eye" image in its window (featured in several posters & publicity shots for the film) – this image is believed to refer to "Big Brother" type survallience and the ancient symbol of the Masons (itself taken from the Eye of Ra):


The nanotechnological attack on the Eiffel Tower is a shameless restaging of/reference to the 9/11 disaster, with very similar imagery:


And, of course, there is the Scotland connection:
Why does the film open not on the present day, but hundreds of years ago in Scotland as James McCullen/Destro's ancestor is being tried for shady arms dealing? If I had to analyze the film with the eye of a conspiracy theorist (which, of course, I am not – I'm simply playing devil's advocate here), I would say the connection has to do with Freemasonry.


Scotland has played a very important role in the link between ancient and modern Freemasonry. Many conspiracy theorists believe that Freemasons are responsible for a whole host of world events, including the "New World Order" theory. There are some theorists who link the Cobra-like mythos of the Illuminati (international cabal bent to take over the world) with the Freemasons. One of the alleged crimes of the Illuminati is funding both sides of a conflict – which is what both James McCullen's ancestor and James himself has done as a matter of policy:

James McCullen/Destro:

"Never get caught selling to both sides."

So, within the symbolism presented in the movie, Cobra seems to be a pastiche of these many tropes: Freemasons, New World Order, Illuminati, even 9/11 theories. But there is one more outré – and obvious – trope to touch upon:


Conspiracy theorist David Icke, among others, have managed to wrap up all the aforementioned themes into a mega-meta-theory that has in its heart the following premise: the real culprits of the New World Order, the real villains, are "Reptilian" aliens who have been work through Masonry, Illuminati, et al in order to take over the world.

And so we are led back to...Cobra.


Now, if we wish to take other aspects of the G.I. Joe mythos into consideration, the 1987 cartoon G.I. Joe: The Movie specifically refers to an ancient reptilian race as being the ancestors of modern Cobra– complete with Cobra Commander being originally some sort of reptile-like humanoid himself. This mythology almost exactly falls in line with the various "reptilian" theories out there in conspiracy-land.


But it gets better.

Let's drop Cobra for a bit and focus on G.I. Joe. If there was one thing G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra lacked it was a full defining of this organization – I found the team to be a little on the hollow side in comparison with the dastardly ham of the Cobra Crew. But the one thing we do know is that it is international and not beholden to any one country. And it's led by the charismatic (well, as charismatic as some of the wooden actors in this movie get) General Hawk. The G.I. Joe insignia also is of a Hawk with a star.

The hawk is the mythological symbol of the Egyptian God Horus (a falcon is another symbol of Horus – I refer you to Horus stand-in Lt. Falcon from G.I. Joe: The Movie).




Horus is a Sky God that represents the New Age, and is usually interpreted as a good guy (unless you are some fundamentalist Christian or something). How convenient, then, that G.I. Joe/General Hawk's secret headquarters is in Egypt, under the pyramids.

Further, do you know who Horus's main enemy is?

Apep/Set

Set. The Egyptian snake god. (Though this connection of Set with snakes is a later development that took place when he began to be associated with the giant serpent god Apep. Set originally looked like a sort of anteater).

Oh, the enmity between Horus and his uncle Set goes way back, ever since Set killed his dad. Once Horus got so mad at Set that he ripped off one of his testicles. That's pretty mad (to be fair, Set was trying to bone his own nephew at the time). So we are talking an ancient, iconic struggle here – just like that near-ancient, iconic struggle between G.I. Joe/General Hawk and Cobra. Why is the G.I. Joe franchise so insanely popular? Maybe part of the reason is that it taps into deep symbolism ingrained in the mass consciousness.


Worship of Set/Apep, and snake gods of many different types, is related to both Illuminati-type conspiracy theories as well as those of the "reptilians." There is also a correlation between the ancient snake/amphibian gods and the Cthulhu mythos. The Lovecraftian gods dwell deep with the earth and water, where Cobra's secret base is. Further, the exact location of the Cobra HQ – the Arctic – further relates to the conspiracy meta-theory.

The underwater lair of the Cthulhu gods of yore...

...and the home base for Cobra

As uber-Occultist Helena Blavatsky has written:

"Even in our day, science suspects beyond the Polar seas, at the very circle of the Arctic Pole, the existence of a sea which never freezes and a continent which is ever green."

This secret "evergreen" continent in the Arctic, the story goes, may even be host to a race of lost super-men. A lot of this related mythos has, unfortunately, been twisted to fit Nazi mythologies, and certainly Cobra has shades of that fascist group as well.

A last point of interest to be discussed here is the Mars/Egypt connection. The name of McCullen/Destro's arms company is M.A.R.S. There are conspiracy theories linking Mars to Egypt, referring to so-called "pyramids" found on Mars. Also, there is the "Face" on Mars that some believe represents a creature similar to Egypt's Sphinx. The Sphinx is related to Horus – again we go back to the General Hawk/Horus/Egypt connection.


This brings up the question as to where both Cobra and G.I. Joe gets their superior weaponry and technology from. My guess? Extraterrestrial origins. That's right my friends: we are led perfectly into a Transformers/G.I. Joe movie! (I took special note of almost exactly the same shot of the pyramids as in Rise Of Cobra in the trailer for Transformers 2 on my G.I. Joe DVD).

Where does G.I. Joe & Cobra get their highly-advanced tech (like accelerator suits) from?

Maybe it's from these guys

Perhaps the weaponry was handed down, via "Ancient Astronauts"/Annunaki (which figures like Horus & Set are believed to be by some esoteric researchers), to arefully maintained bloodlines like the McCullens. Who on the "good guy" side might have received these weapons? Remember: G.I. Joe's Lady Jaye is related to McCullen/Destro.

At any rate, the avatars of these ancient gods Horus and Set now continue the struggle of good and evil, the fight for the prize (extraterrestial technology) that is likened to the forbidden apple of knowledge...falling in line once again exactly into the meta-theory promulgated via so many individuals and websites.








There is so much more I could discuss, but it would take several posts. For example, the origin of Cobra Commander (Frankenstein/Darth Vader mythos that has also been recently explored in the character of Deadpool from X-Men Origins: Wolverine). I did some research into the connection of Destro and the historical The Man in the Iron Mask. There is also apparently an episode of the original G.I. Joe cartoon that goes into the Egyptian mythology in some detail (the cartoon series itself is a goldmine of great stories and rich symbolism).

Lastly, this post is not a justification/endorsement of any one conspiracy theory, but rather an illustration of how a piece of popular culture may encompass a great deal of ancient & modern mythology and symbols. I think the bottom line regarding such matters is that it's just better to know rather than passively take in...

...because knowing is half the battle.

(note pyramid-shape behind Joes)

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